The Comparison Curse

It seems to be a curse that we women bare….we can’t seem to help ourselves. I first noticed this when I had my first child. There where the following “camps”…

Workout while Pregnant VS no-workouts while Pregnant

Natural Childbirth VS Medicated Childbirth

Home Birth VS Hospital Birth

Breastfeed VS Formula feed

Stay home VS Work

The first time that I was actually guilty of comparisons happened while I was on the job. I was in the break-room having lunch with a co-worker who was also a dear friend.  A new employee walked passed us in the break room and my friend and I looked at each other and at the same exact time said, “SKINNY BITCH!” She was taller, thin, had perky boobs, and dressed in a sexy professional way.  I had instantly compared myself to her and found myself lacking. Ironically, she became a good friend to both of us and I treasured her for a long time. (and still do even though we don’t talk anymore)

It turns out that women of any age, socio-economic status, ability, fitness level are susceptible to this curse.

Case in point: A beautiful woman that we know who is a trainer and is a delight to be around; felt out of place because she perceived that the others present were more beautiful and more talented. I felt so bad for her and I could not put her comments out of my mind.

How does this happen? Why does this happen? 

You never hear a man say, “That dude is better looking than me!” or “Wow, why do I even bother working out when that guy looks like that!?” or “Some men are just so lucky to have been able to go that school….have that job…live in that house…have that wife.” In variably, a man will take the attitude that he is damn good-looking, damn smart, and damn hard working, damn built, damn whatever he sets his mind to. Sure, occasionally “we” laugh at the seemingly arrogant persona but what if instead of laughing, we not only accepted their positive attitudes of themselves but actually adopted those attitudes ourselves?   

What would happen if we celebrated our sisters in their successes and trumpeted our own? What if we delighted in our sisters’ beauty and recognized our own? What if we were excited for job successes (those who chose to master the home front or those who work within the job front) and acknowledged our own successes?

If we started consciously behaving this way towards our sisters and toward ourselves - imagine the change that would happen in the world and within our souls!  No longer would we sit in judgment of another woman, no longer would the media have the opportunity to jump on a “cat-fight”. No longer would we set ourselves up for failure.  We would have peace and calm within.

I hope you join me in taking a stand against comparisons to others….

I will no longer compare my abilities, talents and gifts to another woman, I will compare my progress to myself and ask “Did I do more, be more, and strive for more?”

Will you??